The Decay of Books

This is an example of the work of artist Guy Laramee. He carves books into decaying and chilling landscapes. Concerned with the erosion of culture, he took a focus on the paperback book which is being replaced by ebooks, kindles and phone apps. He turns these 'useless' books into picturesque scenes of mountains in order to challenge our notion of the obsolete and the natural nothingness which we take for granted.

It's all very deep, but there's certainly something hauntingly beautiful about his work.

View more of his work, here.

Thanks for all the fish

So as the year draws to a close I thought it was time for a bit of reflection.

I am proud of what I have achieved this year, however there are many things that happened to me this year that I didn't expect. Not all of what happened this year was good; firstly I began the year fairly fresh to single life after having broken up with my boyfriend of four years. I was involved in a car accident, I didn't get the degree I wanted, I couldn't save enough to go travelling, out of my group of friends I was the only one to stay in my hometown and to some extent we all grew apart, and of course there was my complete inability to get a job that pays better than minimum wage.

Despite this I'd say that the ups far outweighed the downs. This may all sound a bit cliched (is it cliche to say that? Anyway...), but as my schoolfriends and I grew apart it allowed me to make some really great friends both with people at work and some who were once just acquaintances to me. I got a degree, I ran a 10k in under an hour, I achieved a bronze award in ballroom and latin dancing, I went to my first festival (and loved it), I went on a fantastic holiday (something I hadn't previously had the time or money to do), I completed the Bristol Zoo Gorilla Hunt, I got a job (even if I am just a waitress) and I learnt that I am a much, much stronger person than I ever gave myself credit for. Not to mention a whole host of other things that it would be tedious to write on here.

Overall I'd say that this had been a great year, one of the better ones. I can only hope that 2012 works out just as good, or better. Provided we don't all die in a fiery, mayan-predicted death before the end of it. Apocalypse aside, here's a list of things I wish to achieve (which I think is much better than a series of half hearted 'resolutions' that will only last a week):

• To run a half marathon.
• To go to at least two countries, Italy has to be one of them.
• To actually use a diary.
• To go to another festival
• To get myself some sort of career
• To learn a new skill (I hear fire breathing is popular, or perhaps making art in latte foam?)
• Read a book a month and review on here.
• To leave the parental home.
• And most importantly, to really just enjoy myself.

Let's hope this works.

Crackers about Christmas.

So in a moment of Kirstie Allsopp inspired Christmas madness I decided that I would make my own Christmas Crackers for the family this year. Now that they're finished I definitely have a joyous sense of achievement.

I mean doesn't it look great? It's all shiny. And handmade. With ribbons and hand-cut snowflakes. You can practically see the love.

However I have a few words of caution for those foolish souls like myself, that are not seasoned do-christmas-yourself professionals. DON'T DO IT. For the love of God, it's just not worth it. They took me 3 days. 3 days. Of sitting alone in a room with various differing size toilet rolls, a craft knife and a paper perforator. That's a lot of effort for something that's sole purpose in life is to be ripped apart with a bang.The ratio between achievement and toil is completely unbalanced. And in the name of all that is holy in this festive season, the worst decision you can make is to decorate said crackers with 3 individually handcrafted snowflakes. Just don't.

Tom Smith, you ain't. So just go out and buy them.

Black Mirror's Bleak Future

Whilst at work the other day I found myself completely lost amidst my colleagues discussion of the X Factor. Now the X Factor is something I do not watch partly because I don't have time for it, but majoratively because I really don't like it. And I specifically, really don't like everything that it stands for. It is a never-ending, completely pointless, fame hungry, mind numbingly tedious programme.

This is why I was thankful for a decent, thought provoking piece of television. Black Mirror. Severely underrated. Written by Charlie Brooker, whom I don't normally find very funny or entertaining, but Black Mirror is great dystopian programming worthy of Orwell or Atwood.

The second episode of the 3 part drama focuses on an unspecified point in the future of our own society; where the only way to escape a lifetime of exercise bike based drudgery is to enter 'Hotshot', a darker X Factor, which promises wealth, fame and a lifetime free of troubles. The technology is far more advanced, simple walls are interactive and advertise Hotshot frequently throughout the day. One of the scariest moments of Brooker's dystopian fantasy is that the adverts can only be skipped if you allow a fine to be incurred, however if you do not have enough 'points' (instead of money) you must watch, closing your eyes only pauses the advert. It must be watched.

Black Mirror is clearly an exaggeration but a lot of what Brooker points out already rings true. You only have to look at the power that the X Factor wields. It dominates viewing figures as well as the charts with it's manufactured brand of shitpop. But the X Factor not only creates it's own popstars but has power over existing chart acts. Any act put on the X Factor immediately begins to sell more.

Similarly songs featured in the X Factor receive a spike in popularity. This year's winner, Little Mix's debut single a cover of Damien Rice's single Cannonball, which was released a few years ago and went into the charts at no. 11, it re-entered last week at no.7. It achieved 4 places higher due to the power of the X. Madness.

Brooker's vision is very clear. It is a dig at our consumerist world, based around celebrity and everyones quest for something better than this provincial life. Whilst I watched Black Mirror on my laptop I found myself at one point, unable to pause let alone skip an advert. Which reminds me of Spotify's annoying habit of pausing an advert if you turn down the volume, only a problem if you do not pay for the premium account. And all of this makes me wonder how far in the future Brooker's dystopia is set? And if he really had exaggerated it that much after all?

The Rantings of a full-time Waitress

I never thought being a waitress would be hard work, after all, you don't need a degree or that much training to clear plates. Surely any old person could do it? Wrong. Ok it's not the most intellectually challenging of jobs, there's never going to be a nobel prize for waitressing, but you definitely have to be a certain kind of person to do that job.

The first thing, which goes without saying, is to have a good memory. Not only for remembering that you have to take a customer's order or clear the plates; but also having to remember the ingredients of every single food item on the menu (in case you get a tricky, coeliac customer), the country of origin of every wine and the proofs of all the beers (for the drivers). Because believe me, anything they could possibly ask you about, they will. My favourite question was whether the mushroom risotto came with rice? Hmm...

Also being able to prioritise. It seems a silly thing to say, when all you're doing is serving food but being able to prioritise is imperative. To be able to make the decision that taking the food to Table 3, who have been waiting 20 minutes, is more important than taking Table 5 their dessert, when they've been waiting 15. Nothing life or death but important nonetheless.

You also have to be an extremely resilient person. The best waitress is a completely unflappable waitress. You have to be able to keep your head when others around you are losing theirs. To be friendly and polite when you're getting it in the neck from both sides - the customer and the kitchen, for something that is not your fault. To be completely harassed when you have a pile of things to do and still be able to go back out into the restaurant with a smile on your face and have cheerful banter with the customers. It's strange, really, to think how many breakdowns I've seen over something as trivial as a lamb shank. But also not to go too far in the other direction and laugh in the customers face. It took a great deal of my self control when I had the risotto question sprung on me.

Being a waitress has taught me a lot; that I have a good memory, that I'm good at prioritising, that I'm able to be calm and friendly whilst facing adversity (in the form of a stale yorkshire pudding and a vexed customer), that I can carry 3 heavy plates at a time and that there are some people, who no matter what you do, will never be happy. But, most importantly it's taught me how to be a better customer.

A rather different sort of application

Now I among many other thousands of graduates out there grappling for the remaining scraps of jobs to get us started on the ladder to that mythical thing entitled a 'career', have all had to go through the same process. Covering letter and CV, but how do you make yourself stand out from the crowd, when we're all preaching about how awesome, professional and hard working we are?

Well recently I got sick of the bog-standard format and in my Italo Calvino inspired state I penned a different kind of covering letter. One that seems to have had good reviews, although it's not a covering letter for the faint of heart...

You have just picked up, what is bound to be another dull covering letter from your large stack of cv’s and application forms that have recently been handed to you to go through. You had a heavy night last night and have better to things to be getting on with than sorting through these applications. Nevertheless you sit at your desk, with your ever increasingly cold cup of badly-made coffee and read through the same jargon and mumbo-jumbo about how ‘driven’ and ‘hard working’ each respondent is. You’re beginning to get bored of the same phrases and although there are some who are qualified, the process is getting tedious and you’re no longer focusing. What did that just say? You had better read that last bit again, you know you weren’t properly paying attention.

But then one covering letter stands out from the rest, her name is Alexandra Hobbs and she has worked in a marketing environment before. She has even had the experience of updating a company website and maintaining databases and so has some of the basic skills that you require. You take a sip of that now rather cold muddy coffee and continue to read. The covering letter says that she is an avid user of social media and frequently blogs, you notice that she has demonstratable interest and knowledge into the fields you require. She’s a fresh graduate and therefore is easily moulded into the ethos and values of your company. The covering letter then goes on to describe how organised and hard working she is but also how eager she is to learn, be challenged and work hard to rise through the ranks of your company. You think about it, it’s a little different from the covering letters you’ve seen before and you think her fresh approach will bring something to the company. Plus the covering letter describes one of her latest talents as being a barista at a gastropub. You look at your cold ‘i’d rather be shopping’ mug of murky coffee and think that anything she could make must be better than this.

That’s where the covering letter stops, with some formal acknowledgements and hopes to hear from you soon. But you don’t want it to stop, you want to know more. You had better give her a call.

The Devil wears Primark.

One of my biggest character flaws, along with probably every other 21 year old girl, is that I spend too much. And I blame this completely upon the fact that one day about 4 years ago, I bought a fashion magazine.

Now the problem with shopping is the more you buy, the more you realise you need. For instance, I recently laddered my very last pair of plain black tights. So, naturally, I need to go buy some more. So upon entering town I am met with a vast and bewildering array of hosiery; from footless tights to fake suspenders, from forest green to mustard yellow, from tights that suck you in and keep you firmly in place to tights that give you the ability to talk to the fat cells in your legs and persuade them to please go away. Well that last part wasn't true but it may aswell have been. This is where it all begins, with every new fashion season I get the same thought process:

Well I always wear black tights, maybe I'll try something different this time. This red pair is quite nice. But what would I wear them with? A simple black dress would be nice with them. Yes I should go buy one. But it's getting cold I'll need some kind of cosy cardigan to wear over it and jazz it up. Oh that's a nice red cardigan over there. Well no that's too much red if I wear them with the tights, maybe I should try a black cardigan or some yellow tights... Or get both.

Dear lord it's a never ending circle of 'if i get A, then logically I must get B'. This is definitely what fashion is all about. You just NEVER have enough clothes. This is the problem with cheap, disposable and trendy clothing. The individual items are cheap, but it soon becomes an incessant cycle of expense. A habit harder to break than smoking. Because once you have entered the sorority of style, you can't just stop. You can not just stop following fashion without making a statement about yourself that either; a) you are now one of the 'out there' fashion forward who don't care what other's think about their new, Lady Gaga-esque Emmental Bra, b) you now stick firmly with the tried and tested jeans, t shirt and trainers combo and for that special occasion, a dress from Jane Norman or c) you have become some so disillusioned with the fashion industry that you buy clothing made solely of hemp and have ceased shaving your armpits and washing your hair.

Now none of these, completely accurate and in no way stereotypical, options really appeals, so I suppose I'll just have to be very British about this and keep calm and carry on. Do not buy any more clothes. Make do and mend, as they did back in the war, that would stop me spending too much of my hard-earned minimum wage.

Having said that I'm now going into Bristol to buy a nice little red knitted hat I've had my eye on, that would go perfectly with my grey cardigan... although it might go better with a black one?

Simply Inspirational...

There's something I've learnt about myself today and it's all thanks to a magazine really.

Flicking through pages of said magazine I discovered that it's theme was inspirational women, this oddly came at an appropriate time in my life when I'm trying very hard to get my creative juices flowing. What could be better than a bit of inspiration? So I read on, lists and lists of the women that the fashionable and famous find inspiring, their 'muses' if you will. So it got me thinking, who inspires me?

Well there's always the stock, unoriginal, albeit heartwarming answer of 'my mother'. Don't get me wrong I love and admire my dear old mum, but does she inspire me? No. Despite her best efforts she can barely inspire me to do the dishes, let alone produce great works of art. No, my mother is not my muse.

Then there's the old celebrity route. Well that would be between two of my favourite actresses Emma Watson and Mila Kunis, both of whom I adore and admire greatly, for separate reasons and not just for my girl crush on both of them. However, I'm faced with the same problem, they don't inspire me. I don't look at them and think 'Oh my, I must put your beauty and elegance into words/paint/music immediately or I shall simply combust'. If anything, I feel a lingering sense of disappointment that my face does not look like theirs.

But then I realised what woman, above all the women who have ever existed, inspires me to get dressed in the morning, to make the most of myself and even to cook. Mother nature, herself has an effect on me that no mortal soul or beauty could. Now I feel a bit hippyish for saying that. I'm no tree hugger, for me it's not about the 'awesome, beautiful and yet destructive nature of the earth, maaaaan', but instead just the feelings that nature invokes.

So here's a little list of things I'm inspired by and I hope I've inspired you to think about it yourself.

• Seasons - the changing colours, light, temperature and feel of each season. Autumn in particular.
• Food - which is linked to the seasons really. Berries and pumpkins in autumn, pheasant in winter, eggs in spring and barbeques in summer.
• Rustic pubs - modern but with a country feel. Oh and a log fire. They always have to have a log fire.
• Clifton, Bristol - for it's grand Victorian houses and beautiful scenery.
• Stokes Croft, Bristol - for it's trendy, creative and slightly grubby urban feel.
• Woods and fields - at any time of year, just to watch them change.

Welcome to the real world...

I am just so sick of that phrase? Is anyone else sick of that phrase?

Now the main problem with having a full time job (that has got absolutely nothing to do with the career you want) is what you do on your days off. Do you spend them leisurely or productively? After working an average 40 hour week it becomes very important to make those precious days off really count for something, right? This is just one of the many problems I have discovered with life since leaving the reassuring cocoon of full-time education and being thrust into the cold, harsh world of the graduate. It's quite a struggle balancing a full-time job, with a budding twenty-something social life, whilst also trying to sell the best of yourself to (hopefully) future employers.

For one thing I have recently put on copious amounts of weight (which I blame on the chefs at work for accidentally making too many chips, rather than my own lack of self-control when confronted with said chips) which, naturally, means one must visit the gym almost weekly. This therefore can take a couple of hours out of the day, meaning there is even less time to do other things. Oh exercise why must you be so necessarily tedious?

Secondly, it's a day off. You want to do something fun/relaxing on your day off. Whether it be seeing friends, shopping or just going for a nice country walk; it's nice to be able to do whatever you like. Personally, I've had an ever-increasing list of about 20 books that I've wanted to read for the past year, however it's hard to fit it in with all the other 'leisurely' activities demanding my attention. Would I rather sit in my house all day with a book or spend some well earned doller? Or as I have recently found myself doing, traipsing around the greater Bristol area in search of Gorillas? Gorillas 1, Books 0.

Now indulging myself on my days off may be all very well and good, but it prevents me from doing productive things such as learning Italian, blogging, applying for jobs, writing cover letters, researching companies and just generally trying to move out of the bar industry, in which I am currently working, and getting into an area that I wish. Now this is a process which, although important, can be largely time-consuming and dull. On top of said job-related activities comes doing laundry, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming and just generally doing things that put me firmly into the 'dutiful daughter' category.

So many things to do, so little time. Ah well, I guess that's the real world. Welcome to that by the way...