I never thought being a waitress would be hard work, after all, you don't need a degree or that much training to clear plates. Surely any old person could do it? Wrong. Ok it's not the most intellectually challenging of jobs, there's never going to be a nobel prize for waitressing, but you definitely have to be a certain kind of person to do that job.
The first thing, which goes without saying, is to have a good memory. Not only for remembering that you have to take a customer's order or clear the plates; but also having to remember the ingredients of every single food item on the menu (in case you get a tricky, coeliac customer), the country of origin of every wine and the proofs of all the beers (for the drivers). Because believe me, anything they could possibly ask you about, they will. My favourite question was whether the mushroom risotto came with rice? Hmm...
Also being able to prioritise. It seems a silly thing to say, when all you're doing is serving food but being able to prioritise is imperative. To be able to make the decision that taking the food to Table 3, who have been waiting 20 minutes, is more important than taking Table 5 their dessert, when they've been waiting 15. Nothing life or death but important nonetheless.
You also have to be an extremely resilient person. The best waitress is a completely unflappable waitress. You have to be able to keep your head when others around you are losing theirs. To be friendly and polite when you're getting it in the neck from both sides - the customer and the kitchen, for something that is not your fault. To be completely harassed when you have a pile of things to do and still be able to go back out into the restaurant with a smile on your face and have cheerful banter with the customers. It's strange, really, to think how many breakdowns I've seen over something as trivial as a lamb shank. But also not to go too far in the other direction and laugh in the customers face. It took a great deal of my self control when I had the risotto question sprung on me.
Being a waitress has taught me a lot; that I have a good memory, that I'm good at prioritising, that I'm able to be calm and friendly whilst facing adversity (in the form of a stale yorkshire pudding and a vexed customer), that I can carry 3 heavy plates at a time and that there are some people, who no matter what you do, will never be happy. But, most importantly it's taught me how to be a better customer.
